Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Mental Notes n such.......

Last night a good friend, Steven, texted me and asked me to jot down some notes about my run at Jemez so next year when I run this course I can be better prepared. I got me a binder and plan to do that this evening.  After waking up late today and feeling like a train had ran over me I went on my daily routine of seeing new customers and trying to get my job done.  All morning I thought about my run and what mental notes I need to write to make the next run up this mountain at 50 miles instead of 50km be easier with a better time irregardless of weather.  This kind of got me to thinking.  Yea I do way too much of that...... Why not do it now over every run I've done this year as well as a couple of my training haunts I love??? I haven't looked at my running schedule to see if my target races will coincide with the races I've ran this year but it can't hurt to write down little things that can make each run a tad more manageable the next time I do it.  Makes perfect sense!!! Easy Peasy!! Well til I got to thinking some more..... Why shouldn't I do this with life or relationships? Nobody wants to live in the past but maybe if I write down things I've done right and things I'm so great at totally butchering it could be possible to avoid major pitfalls that I seem to find. Dang that's gonna be alotta writing.  I'm not much into watching TV anymore and the daily routine of stopping for a 12 pack and drinking it nightly is finally gone so why not? I did take a break from not buying beer in bulk the night I ran Jemez. I got me a 18pack and had a few Sat night and Sunday.  Monday AM it was back into training mode. I don't miss it and frankly buying that box of beer kinda scared me. I don't wanna go back to "that guy " again. A mixed drink when my legs are hurting or over a meal suffices me just fine.  Actually I may integrate buying a box of beer after every milestone I hit.  Just a gentle reminder to myself as to who I was before and the person I'm striving to become.  I woke up this AM at 3 and read a old blog John Sharp had written in 09.  I read it about 10 times because I saw so many similarities to myself in it.  The more I get involved in Ultrarunning I see this more and more.  I think we are kind of a motley group of people on a journey to find either ourself or a greater purpose in life.  I love the runs where I'm broke down physically AND mentally. After recovering hopefully each time will make me stronger.  Don't get me wrong, I have very successful and "normal" peers I run with who, like myself are very driven in life.  You have to be driven to put yourself through these runs.
 Anyway- back to writing..... I haven't quite figured out how this may help me as I start new chapters career wise but I'll see. I need to get my running and personal life documented first.   This phase of my life is pretty much uncharted waters for me.  I've never been on a journey to rebuild a life I destroyed where I was sober. It's kinda cool but it's not something I've ever done before.  People who have never experienced it will critique me and tell me to just do this, this and this.  That's all well and good if you aren't seeking a greater purpose in life other than a mere existence. Go Big or Go Home is going to be my mantra with my running.  As a person I only wish to be humble and grateful for the life I have....  Til next time Run Strong!

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